The Vagina Monologues

Warning: The post may be little bit offensive for people with conservative mindset.

 Two months back I got invited to an event via facebook.  It was for a play called “The Vagina Monologues” and it was performed by a bunch of students at KTH student union building. The name alone was enough to create curiosity in me. I read the description of the play and it said the play is about raising awareness about women’s issues. One of my friends in Amnesty group of Stockholm University told me that it is really good and suggested me to go for it.

I went for the play. There were few girls from different parts of the world talking about what women think and feel about their vagina, their fears,desires etc. I wondered whether this type of play can be staged in India. This is one of the things I like in Swedish or in general western culture. You have full freedom of speech. No one can sue you for your speech or writings. Well, the thing I wanted to write about is different.

Recently I noticed a trend of the past. The period during 1960s and 1970s which is considered as the golden period of women liberation in the west is strongly coinciding with the period of sexual revolution which happened in the west during the same period. The way in which the western society viewed sex changed during this period. They started accepting sex as a natural part of human’s life and started appreciating the beauty of it. In all the societies where premarital sex is common, I see the women are more liberated compared to the societies where it is not prevalent. I don’t know whether sexual revolution lead to women liberation or women liberation lead to sexual revolution. But I am sure that both aided each other.

 Most of the societies in the past and some societies even now have done everything, both psychological and physical to undermine women’s sexual desires. In India, almost all the religious books, epics, stories, movies, TV shows somehow reiterate that women belong to men and the practice continues even now. Chastity is being considered extremely important for women. She has to preserve herself for someone whom she is going to meet in the future. It is perceived that it is the right of men or to be precise husbands right to open his wife box (hope you understand).  Both fathers and brothers feel it is their duty to protect the girls and her chastity before finding a right guy for her and I can tell you a lot of moral policing is involved in it. I have seen lot of Indian movies which intent to say that it is a mistake for guys to have an illegal affair, but it is the duty of girls to make the guys realize their mistake and accept them whole heartedly if they realize it. But the standards are totally different for women. For women it is a grave mistake to have an affair. They don’t have any excuses. They have to face embargo from the society.

There are also some cruel physical things that are done to undermine women’s sexual desires such as Female genital mutilation (FGM) like removing the clitoris of women. It is practiced in a lot of countries.  Clitoris is the most important part of women’s body which gives sexual pleasure to them. Clitoris has twice the amount of nerve endings as Penis and no wonder why women have more pleasure. Removing clitoris is equivalent to removing whole or major part of penis. Amnesty estimates that over 130 million women worldwide have been affected by some form of FGM. Even though it is outlawed in most of the countries, it is still followed prevalently.  There is one critically acclaimed film called Moolaadé which deals with this issue.

It is also important to think about the mindset of the society. I have asked many of my Indian friends (including the educated ones) whether they are ready to marry a girl who is not a virgin and not surprisingly the answer is no from most of them and it include guys who are not new to sex. (I see a small change in mindset for the guys who lived abroad for quite some time.) I feel this mindset is one of the reasons for low divorce rates in India. It is not so easy to find someone new if you are divorced (Living together relations are not so common in India). Even people with bad marriages hesitate to divorce because they feel that it is better to live with someone rather than being alone. Well, talking about marriages in India is a big topic and it requires a separate post.

I feel sexual revolution created an important impact in the mindset of people in western countries and aided a lot in women liberation. In western countries, women are no longer seen as men’s property and women started having the feeling that they own their body. Men no longer see women as their possession as compared to lot of societies where women are still seen as men’s possession. I am not expecting any change in the Indian society in the near future. Even after living a considerable amount of time outside India and has even though my mind has accepted the Western mentality with respect to sex, my heart still refuses to leave the Indian mindset. I would suggest all the guys to see the play “The Vagina Monologues” if they get a chance, especially the Indian guys.